Tears of Gold

The Myanmar military captured Lalu’s family, forcing them into a house to be burned. While the army was rounding up more people in the village, the family escaped. One of her nephews was killed when his clothes caught on fire, and one of her grandchildren was shot by the military as they fled. Lalu’s husband became dangerously unwell – he died soon after they arrived at the refugee camp.

Lalu feels unspeakable grief for the loss of her loved ones and has been unable to move on, her mental and physical health increasingly frail.

Christiana was eight months pregnant when Fulani herdsmen broke into her home. They demanded to have sex with her, stating that if she refused they would kill her and cut her into pieces.

“Two men raped me; the other three said they couldn’t because I was pregnant,” she says. Those three tied her husband up and forced him to watch. After the attackers left, her husband took her immediately to a hospital, where she gave birth to her daughter Gloria, whom she calls her “miracle baby.”

Leila describes the moment of separation from her children and husband as death itself. She sometimes re-experiences that moment of profound pain and helplessness in nightmares that wake her, screaming.

Leila was imprisoned for two years underground in Raqqa, Syria. There she gave birth to her daughter Ghariba. In the Kurdish language, the name means “strange,” chosen to reflect that she was born into a strange world, with strange people.

Samkina fled her village after the Myanmar military surrounded it and set it ablaze. The military opened fire on the village, killing her father, among others.

In the chaos, Samkina managed to escape with her mother, brother, and sister. The journey through the jungle took them fourteen days. Even when they found food to eat, the stench of corpses made them vomit.

She expresses her grief about leaving her father’s body, unable to bury him.

Hadiya was sold into sexual and domestic slavery to twelve different Daesh fighters. She recalls countless experiences of rape and brutal physical violence, including the time she was beaten unconscious with a belt. As Hadiya recounts her story, I learn that whilst the acts of sexual and physical violence she endured were deeply traumatic, it was the act of being repeatedly sold that most made her feel dehumanised.

Charity was kidnapped by Boko Haram. She was held captive by Boko Haram for three years and was forced to “marry” a militant and convert to Islam. Charity was raped and subsequently gave birth to a baby girl named Rahila.

The Nigerian military rescued Charity; she was reunited with her husband in a camp for internally displaced people. Her pain was magnified when her husband beat her and rejected her baby. In the camp she faces abuse, rejection, and isolation.